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Respecting Boundaries In Relationships

by Ingrid Edem
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The establishment of boundaries in a relationship is one privilege a lot of people either lack or abuse. It’s better to respect boundaries; so, you don’t end up on their vlog or “I said what I said “podcast. Having someone you can call when you are down is beautiful. Relationships are beautiful, they’re filled with love, growth, sacrifices, empathy, compassion and shared Wi-Fi passwords and boxers. Whether friendships or relationships. I am a huge fan of girl friendships. I don’t know where you guys see friendships that they “snatch” your goats, oopps! I meant ‘men’ from you. But at least, even if it’s the last thing you’d do, make sure you experience the love that is in female friendships as a girl. The support there is wild.

Relationships: truthfully has a lot involved. And sometimes I just thank my stars that I am not in one. When it comes to my man, I don’t know what you mean by ‘boundaries’, what do you mean by that though? The next time you are thinking of getting into a relationship instead of looking for your next meal, I hope you know it’s not all rosy as you see on the pages of social media? Sometimes they also involve arguments because you overslept, or you went to bed too early, not answering your call when they call at first ring, or argue about food, or why the lady with a big buddy was looking at you some type of way. Talk about the ones that would ghost you for two weeks because they weren’t in the mood to talk, going through their phone because you took that opening at the FBI and decided to test your abilities.

Disclaimer: I am not a relationship expert, so whatever advice you see here might not be the best, so whatever happens if you take my advice is not my fault. Let’s chat a little about something I feel is important in today’s relationships/friendships.


When you and your partner order food and you suddenly feel like their food is better than yours. This Is common with my gender eyes in disappointment first off, is that his first meal of the day? Does he like sharing food? If he doesn’t, get your hands off his food sis. Not everyone likes sharing food, just because he asked you out in the rain doesn’t mean he is willing to share his dodo. It’s giving entitlement and you aren’t respecting his boundaries. Laughs in female shockery this advice is funny to me, this is not something I’d do, why won’t I eat my man’s food? I can’t be his peace. I’ll eat his food and mine included, do your worst my king. I don’t care if this is how wars start, once you throw a tantrum that I am eating out of your food, I’ll drop a text starting with “I just find it funny how you don’t love me”, you’ll cry blood dears.

Respecting your partner’s alone time: Give them time to themselves. Some people need to reason and boot back without having someone all up in their business. Claps in 10 wonders of Moses why are you disturbing them to talk about their day? Will you make it perfect after you know it didn’t go as planned? I don’t think you are really interested in how your partner’s boss was all up in their case the whole day or how the printer stopped working in the 5th print. Respect their alone time. Just because they don’t want to video call you on WhatsApp or respond to your FaceTime calls doesn’t mean they love you less, if you ask me, I think they hate you. What do you mean you aren’t picking my calls because you are in a bad mood? You hate me, Bruh! *Concludes in women’s favorite sport, “jumping into conclusion” * you can’t tell me otherwise. But this is just me being my dramatic self. Let them be though.

In the dictionary of love, if there’s one, I wouldn’t know. If they hate toothpaste being pressed in the middle, I think as a human being you should be cautious of how you press the toothpaste, if they hate the bathroom door being left open, please, once you step in, close the damn bathroom door. No one gets paid to perceive other humans excrete. If your partner is using the bathroom and they don’t go in to brush your teeth or look for your great ancestors in there, don’t piss them off. (which I strongly recommend, the point of a partner is to piss you off). Just because you’ve seen their genitals doesn’t mean you need to be part of their digestive explosions. Walks away dramatically

Learn to ask for consent: Do not assume because that would lead to war that the ones around you aren’t ready to settle. Asking first is mature and quite a polite thing to do. It shows that you were raised right. Nothing screams maturity like “babe, is it okay to eat your last piece of cake from last night?” instead of feigning dementia of who owns it.

Don’t criticize your partner: Do not turn them away from what they love. I will hate anyone if they try to belittle my efforts instead of applauding me for doing what I love. Trying to bake them into what you want, first off; you aren’t God’s favorite, and I wonder what would make you think your idea and plans for them are better than theirs, even if they are, I feel there’s a way to go about it than just cancelling theirs like that. But if you think that’s the case, congratulations on being perfect. If they like pineapple and not banana, don’t dismiss that, if they like crocs, find a way to tell them nicely, show that won’t go with all outfit. Except you fell in love with a puppet, then Goodluck. But if you fall in love with someone who challenges you, trusts you, surprises you and make their own decisions, know that they won’t always take your ideas or suggestions.

Respecting your partner’s boundaries is equal to Love, if you ask me, although no one is asking. Boundaries in relationships are like iOS’, you must update it every two market days. It’s necessary to not disrespect your partner, it might be annoying sometimes, but it keeps you in the game of respect. Remember that when it comes to love, it must come with patience, kindness, respect, opinions, understanding and good communication. If you are someone who isn’t patient or maybe lacks all the mentioned qualities, I’d advise you to leave the relationship and give me the pass.

Some of you don’t deserve love, but wickedness. And the pass I am asking for, it’s only for rich men, if your man is broke, please keep him. I am already drained from everyday Lagos traffic; I don’t need extra problems. keep your man and grow with him, I am sure with time you’d learn patience.

So dear relationship people, what am I saying? The crux of this article is for us to learn how to respect boundaries and not abuse it because of our relationship with the person involved. Respecting boundaries is another way to show respect. Learn or perish.

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