As Nigerians, we are already used to the JAPA syndrome. In case you don’t know what “JAPA” means, it means when you run away from your country because hunger want wound you. If you wake up tomorrow and find your best friend has JAPA’ED without telling you, don’t be shock; Dem no cast JAPA plans. JAPA is the new national sport in Nigeria, you are either thinking or planning it. Last to Japa na Mumu. JAPA comes in different form, you either JAPA through study visas, work permits or “God when” prayers. The goal is to leave Tinubu’s country by all means necessary.
How did JAPA become more popular than the suya you beg to eat? Where una dey really go? Who una dey leave this country for kwanu? Dear Tinubu, if you are reading this, please note, I have zero plans of ‘JAPAING’ *eyes in false alarm*
WHY IS EVERYONE ‘JAPAING’?
Omo, e get as the country be, Nigeria in 2025 is like that one ex you love so much but can’t stay with because they have bad character, yet full of potentials and always stressing you. The inflation in this country has inflated my eyes, I dey see shege banza on a regular. The Angel that assigned me here no try for me at all.
They will hide and JAPA, then be posting with captions like “I miss home” my friend get out, we know you don’t miss home at all. You dey whine? If you are missing home that much, then come back na. The way the country is programmed, it’s only to fuel your desire to escape, but the escape route isn’t easy at all. Whether is Canada, Uk, Germany or even “Anywhere but here” Nigerians are ready to pack their ghana-must-go and run. There’s nowhere on earth you’d visit and not see a Nigerian, we are everywhere but home. Who home epp?
Before you plan JAPA, just know it’s harder than trying to register your GST courses in a public university, you go see 99, na 1 go remain. You first of all need to write IELTS, apparently, our colonial masters don’t believe we still speak the English they forced us to learn. The school fees drama, proof of funds, if I had so much money, you think I’d be leaving the damned country? Talk about the Visa officers who look at you as if they can already read that once your feet are off the soil of Nigeria, that’s it. Me? come back? Na juju una go use bring me back, even that juju sef.
People think JAPA means instant enjoyment, but the reality hits different when you arrive. There’s cold and your Nigerian skin isn’t designed for cold weather, and you’d go there and layer like Onion until you get used to becoming ‘FROZEN THE ICE QUEEN’ And there’s the reality of not having someone to sent you urgent 2k, you work for that life brick by brick. And guess what, you repeat, everyday is the same, no time for hangouts because, na you Rihanna sing “work work work” for
For those in Nigeria, the JAPA Syndrome means losing friends left, right and center. One day, your friend is telling you “we die here”, next thing, you see their message that’s if they are kind enough to tell you they are relocating to North-pole or wherever. And reality hits you because, the only connection you have with them would be WhatsApp voice notes, Instagram reels and facetime.
Don’t forget that dating has been affected as well. Imagine a 7 years relationship where you have invested time, money and energy into, suddenly having the taste of distance. And the other party will whine you that nothing can take away the love they feel for you. And you Mumu go believe am because you no get choice. *Laughs in Automatic heartbreak*
Why una dey travel? Where una dey go? Who are you people leaving the country for? Am I planning to JAPA? No, I am not. I will stay here and make Nigeria better *eyes in painful exit*. People travel for better opportunities, and trust me, if the country was better, I promise you, we’d still be traveling. Every day I wake up, I take out my International passport and look at it again, because, I am not the one that would rot in Lekki Phase 1. I must travel, Amen. But I will come back o, just tasting the waters *rub hands in Dracula mood*
The syndrome in JAPA is that, an average Nigerian believes that their poverty wahala would be solved once they leave Nigeria. But dear you, how you take know? Do you think they aren’t poor people abroad? Money dey wait for you there make you come meet am? The truth is, Nigerians always find a way to hustle, laugh and make the most out of anything. If you want to start a conversation in public, just exclaim “omo, this country eh” you’d have a crowd of people backing you up.
Out of every person you meet, there’s always more than half of them planning to JAPA. When my cousin JAPA’ED two years ago, we didn’t know, we just saw a picture of him posing in the snow, a month later, I remember calling to check up on him, he had a Uk accent, and it’s only been 3 months since his stay there, bro moved to Japan but somehow, he ended up with a UK accent. Who has a UK Accent in Japan? Nothing wey Musa no go see for gate o. Abi they now speak English in Japan?. Fast forward to when he asked for money back home, he didn’t have an accent, he said it was tough getting a job as a black person. Na una dey enter plane dey go Japan.
Nigerians always have an accent once they travel. Naso una go travel go Kenya go get accent. Mehn! I go too laugh you. JAPA syndrome is both a challenge and an opportunity. While individuals seek for greener pastures on the other side, their home countries must work towards creating environments where people want to stay rather than feel forced to leave. Half of the time, Japarians, don’t want to JAPA, but they are forced to because of the unsustainable economic policies, bad governance and high cost of living. Migration is a personal choice, but even that choice would be useless if you are thriving in a country that is programmed to crumble you.
Make sure you Japa at the first chance you get, your family members go dey alright. As for me, I am not Japaring o. * burst into uncontrollable laughter* I go whine you? Run o, run…ss
1 comment
Realistic but interesting ❤️