Popular Yoruba Nollywood actress Dupe Jayesimi has shared her emotional journey of childlessness despite being over 60 years old.
The veteran actress made the revelation today during a heartfelt conversation on Abiola Adebayo’s podcast, Talk-to-B.
A Journey Filled with Challenges
Jayesimi recounted how her struggles with conception began early in her marriage, despite initially conceiving before her wedding.
“I got married on October 22, 1988. I had started theatrical works then. In our marriage, we had no child for several years despite conceiving before the wedding ceremony. After the ceremony, I had a miscarriage, which was when our problems started,” she said.
After multiple failed attempts to conceive, her marriage suffered severe strain. She explained that misunderstandings arose between her and her husband, leading to emotional and physical separation within their home.
“My husband and I had a misunderstanding when he left me for months without checking back when we were already five years into our marriage. The problem lingered that he would begin to use a pillow to demarcate the bed,” she recalled.
Eventually, she was forced to leave her matrimonial home when her husband deliberately pushed her out of the marriage. Just two weeks after her departure, another woman moved in—already pregnant for her ex-husband.
Failed Attempts to Conceive and Family Opposition to Adoption
The actress, deeply pained by her childlessness, admitted that she resorted to excessive alcohol consumption and endured years of emotional turmoil. Despite remarrying an Alhaji who genuinely wanted to help her conceive, her efforts to become a mother still failed.
“I did IVF twice, and it didn’t even work. So one day, I conceived without even knowing. But when I got to the hospital, the doctor said I was pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy. I cried hell. Then I was already 40 years old,” she lamented.
The ectopic pregnancy led to surgery, and she never conceived again. Her second marriage eventually crumbled after her husband’s first wife became hostile toward her.
Jayesimi further revealed that she once considered adoption as an alternative, but her mother strongly opposed the idea.
“My mother and family refused my plans to adopt a child when my desperation heightened. She told me, ‘If you adopt any kid, I will feed them to death.’ It was then I knew that I was in for a long ride.”
Coping with Emotional Pain and Finding Solace in Acting
Despite her struggles, the actress has tried to find peace with her situation. She acknowledged the emotional pain caused by men who deceived her with promises of conception.
“There are several men who would lie that when you marry them, you will conceive. It is a lie. They want to sleep with you,” she stated, with tears in her eyes.
She admitted that acting has been a blessing in disguise, as it has provided her with a form of escape from societal mockery. However, she has faced ridicule from people, including those she has helped raise.
“Not that I don’t think about it, but I know God’s time is the best. I have taken a lot of steps to conceive. Those whom I trained their children mock me at the end of the day.”
Looking Ahead: A Hope for Motherhood
Now in her 60s, Jayesimi has reached a stage where she desires companionship. She regrets not following her instincts to adopt a child earlier and now hopes to finally take the step, regardless of her mother’s disapproval.
“What I want to do now is get a child who will be my company. If I had not listened to my mum, I would have adopted a long time ago. I am not fighting with my mum, but I want her to stay clear of me because she’s the cause of my childlessness.”
The actress remains hopeful that she will still experience motherhood in one way or another. As she continues her career in Nollywood, she has chosen to focus on her happiness and find solace in the love and admiration she receives from her fans and colleagues in the industry.
