Valentine Day Special: Was Valentine only created for women?

Like every other holiday, Valentine’s Day has its own rave and craze.  Every holiday is seen as an opportunity where men shower women with love, gifts, etc. People in relationships just like showing off. *rolls eye*

Women expect their men to shower them with Love, gifts, flowers and all that you all do in relationships. I can’t imagine coming back from a tedious 9-5 in Lagos and the next thing I think about or want to do is step out for a dinner date, miss me with that stress please.  The PR for Valentine in 2025 is insane, the theme for this year should be “MANIPULATION”. The mainstream media and social media has taken it upon themselves to manipulate innocent people into the Val Web. Guess who is staying strong? If you guessed me, then you deserve a chance to beg me for a shortbread biscuit (You enjoy it better when you beg for it). 

The marketing on Valentine and its primary focus seems to revolve and centered around just women, as the primary recipients of love, affection, gifts, dinner dates, candlelit proposals and its kind. Hence my question, Was Valentine’s day only created for Women? Or maybe Civilization birth the reshape of valentine to favor women?

Yesterday at the mid-week service in church, I am not the type to run to events in church just to listen to relationships and marriage talks, because I belong to the school of thought that what works for you might not work for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I am open to advice. My friends dragged me to the service and I came with gist for you my lovely readers. The things I do to get gist for you guys are recommendable. Thank me later; anyway, the theme was “dating successfully”. I went quite early because I was not about to spend almost half of my evening in Lagos Traffic.  Tufiakwaaaa…  I stayed in front because this year, I decided that I would be intentional about everything I do or plan to do. The service started on well.

 The pastor started preaching on love and mostly focused on women, and I could hear them from where I sat to another angle of the church screaming “yes pastor! Preach queen!”. I turned to my friend and asked her “Why na only women voice I don dey hear since?” “Just turn your face look back first” she replied. I quickly turned to look from my side to the back and to my right and guess what? They were all women, just a few men, excluding the media team and I could count the men in attendance. Teaching women how to receive and give love, how to walk away from love and all that, men too need to learn these things. It threw me on the path to search the history of valentine. Let me share the origin with you as well.

Origin of Valentine’s Day

According to Google, Valentine traces its root back to ancient Rome. A festival called Lupercalia was always celebrated from 13– 15^TH of February. The festival was dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, and it included rituals meant to promote fertility and purification. During this festival, men would whip women with animal hides, believing it would increase their fertility. My mental health was at stake after my research on valentine, what do you mean “Men whip women with animal hides”? is that the chocolate I should be getting? Anyways, it wouldn’t affect me, I am pretty sure I would have been single at that time as well.

Catholic church had to replace Lupercalia with St. Valentine’s Day which was to honor Christian matyrs named Valentine. They are lucky they scraped that torture out, because the men we have in 2025 would be wallowing in delight to whip the women that either turned them down or chop their money and didn’t show up at their house as promised.  So, how did saint valentine get afflicted with love? According to ancient tales of Maduka Google, Saint Valentine of Rome, secretly performed weddings for soldiers forbidden to marry, making him a symbol of love and commitment.

As we can see, the day wasn’t focused mostly on women, it wasn’t gender specific. It was clearly a celebration of forbidden Love *winks*

My Thoughts on Why Valentine’s Day Is Mostly About Women

When it comes to relationships and Love, women are very expressive. You’d easily find a pregnant frog on your front porch than see a man who is ready to bare his heart out sincerely to you. Men dey sha, but how many of them would want to be expressive? Maybe the man God kept for me. *smiles in Cinderella delusions*. More on the research I carried out, the concept of love on valentine’s day shifted to women during the middle ages. Poets like Geoffrey Chaucer romanticized the idea of knights proving their devotion to their women. What Geoffrey did was to reinforce men into being active in expressing their love to women.

Some men are actually going through it, some women bask in the idea that they should only be at the receiving end and not give as well. Some cultures make it balanced. Like Japan, women give their men chocolates while the men return the favor on white day. Maybe I’ll send my younger brother to Japan, he deserves Love as a Lover boy that he is.

My dear Fam, Valentine’s Day is for everyone, my dear Girlies, we are fully aware that Valentine’s Day has been marketed to favor us and modern perspectives on love shifted to our favor. Let’s try and extend the favor and attention to the Adam’s Clan, small o.

One Love to couples who see valentine’s day as a mutual celebration, rather than a gender-based holiday. Men, too, enjoy receiving thoughtful gifts. This is a special plea to my brother’s girl, leave those boxers and singlets alone, I am his source of income, I can’t be coughing up a good amount of money for him, and all you do is the barest minimum. This year, I am very angry.

I am sincerely glad because, it’s 2025, meaning relationships has evolved over time, societal expectations and perceptions has shifted to a balance. Acts of service has become more intentional and thoughtful.

So, advice for the singles, stay away from the gram tomorrow, as for me, I’d be going to church. Stay blessed brethren, and a Happy Valentine’s Day to just the married once, the rest of you are just sinning. * rolls eye*